An Ash Wednesday Reflection by the Venerable Sheila Van Zandwyk
‘Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
These are the words spoken as the ashes are marked on our foreheads. They are not always easy words to hear as we don’t like to think of ourselves as dust. Dust reminds us that we are weak, frail, imperfect. These are the attributes we work very hard at hiding from others, from God, even from ourselves. They remind us of all we struggle with and believe that if others new the truth of; our frailties, our weaknesses, our imperfections, they’d think less of us, perhaps even find us unworthy of their love.
God says to us in our exhaustion, I know, and I love you, just as you are. It is in your frailties that my light which is inside of you is most able to shine forth, to be the light that others see and find comfort in. It is often when we are most vulnerable to people, most frail that we are able to truly connect to another.
So we work very hard to prove we aren’t dust, we show we are strong, independent, able to help others, being positive and upbeat and of course perfect.
It’s exhausting.
The fact is we are often frail, needing to rely on the help of others, tired, disappointed (mostly in ourselves after all we’re the ones demanding perfection), depressed and feeling hopeless and helpless.
What does God think of all this?? God says, I know. I know how tired you are, I know how hard it is, I know the struggles you face. In Jesus time with us he struggled with exhaustion and fell sound asleep in a boat being battered and blown about by a terrifying storm, he struggled with frustration that people were not understanding his ministry and message, he prayed in absolute fear in the Garden of Gethsemane, not just because of the horror awaiting him, but that he would not be strong enough to withstand it.
God says to us in our exhaustion, I know, and I love you, just as you are. It is in your frailties that my light which is inside of you is most able to shine forth, to be the light that others see and find comfort in. It is often when we are most vulnerable to people, most frail that we are able to truly connect to another.
It is why we come together to confess our sins in the midst of a congregation. It reminds us that we are not the only one who is frail, imperfect, struggling. We are all in the same boat, we are not alone in being dust.
God also says to us, rest in me, I don’t ask for perfection or strength I just want you, just as you are, I love you fully and completely most especially in your frailty. Open your heart to me. Let my love soothe you and comfort you. Let it give you the courage and strength you are searching for, let me love you into being all that I created you to be. The Rev’ Jan Richardson says, “did you not know what the Holy One can do with dust?”
Today we bring our frailties before God, we bring all the times we failed; situations, others, ourselves, all the times we have hurt others purposefully and without knowing it, all the times we said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, thought the wrong thing about a situation or a person. We do it in the knowledge (that we cannot fully fathom) that we are utterly and completely forgiven. All of it forgiven and forgotten by God, all of it.
Then, we let it go, all of it, that is what confession and absolution are all about. Wiping the slate clean, moving on from that state of fear and shame to new life in Christ. Beginning to look forward to a renewed reliance on the grace and love of God. As humans though we know that change is neither immediate nor easy. It takes time, this is why we have the season of Lent. In the 40 days of Lent we work at the habit of turning to God in all situations and at all times. That is why prayer, fasting, giving to those in need, reading the Bible and attending worship are all integral elements. They can help us to bring God more deeply into our lives each day. Even praying before each meal offers an opportunity to connect and focus on God throughout the day in recognition of the gifts that we are given and the opportunities we have to carry out God’s love to the world.
We have Lent to establish these practises and habits so that by Easter they are no longer Lenten practises but lifelong practises.
May your Lent be one of a deepen relationship with the God who knows you and loves you. Amen.